TinKing

I joined a poetry group about two weeks ago. We had to write our first poem — a specific exercise from a poetry writing book. It was really hard. I think I had six or seven drafts until I was finally satisfied. Here is the result of that work. I’m not really into the poem, but I am content with it. I was trying to marry and intertwine the concept of time – linear, past present future with, like, an an evaluation of self. Umm, yeah…

She thought she’d be farther along,

By now,

But no.

This is it. This is all.

Her Life.

From teddy bears to wanting wedding bells,

Making changes and taking chances,

Her time passes

She wonders if anything can be

Permanent

She wonders,

Yet she knows.

She thought she’d be farther along,

By now,

But no.

Straight shots and paved paths

Don’t do much for her,

She likes more the scenic route,

Pictures taken,

Kept in the heart

She wonders about what could be tangible -

She wonders.

But she already knows that she knows.

She says:

Further along?

By now?

She asks:

Further along what?

By now from when?

Her reply to herself:

Oh.

Yeah.

She nods her head.

This is it. This is all.

I am right where I need to be

I know there are probably a lot of woman out there who are feeling this song. I just had to put these words in my blog because I am digging them. These words summarize much of my point of view. Word, B.

One of my favorite lines is: Ran by the men but the women keep the tempo

This means, in other words, the ebb and flow.

There are man and woman roles. Ebb is the reflux of the tide toward the sea. Flow is to issue or move in a stream.

The man should know his place and so should a woman. We should know our decided upon roles and accept those roles. Things are a lot easier that way. It is complimentary.

 …

Im known to walk alone
But im alone for a reason
Sending me a drink ain’t appeasing
Believe me
Come harder this wont be easy
Dont doubt yourself trust me you need me
This aint a shoulder with a chip or an ego
But what you think they all mad at me for

You need a real woman in your life ( That’s a good look)
Taking care of home and still fly ( that’s a good look)
I can help you build up your account ( That’s a good look, better let a hood look, ladies that’s a good look)
Believe me
[Chorus:]
Partner Let me upgrade u
AudemarsPiguet you
Switch your neck ties to purple labels
Upgrade u
I can [up], can i [up]
Lemme upgrade u
Partner let me upgrade u
Partner let me upgrade u
Flip a new page
Introduce u to some new things &
Upgrade u
I can [up],
Can i [up], let me
Upgrade u
[partner let me upgrade u]

Ran by the man but the women keep the tempo
Its very seldom that you’re blessed to find your equal
Stilll play my part and let you take the lead role
Believe me
I’ll follow, this could be easy
I’ll be the help whenever you need me
I see your hustle, with my hustle I can keep you
Focused on your focus I can feed you
You need a real woman in your life ( That’s a good look)
Taking care of home and still fly ( that’s a good look)
I can help you build up your account ( That’s a good look, better let a hood look, ladies that’s a good look)
Believe me
When you’re in the big meetings for the mils ( That’s a good look)
You take me just to compliment the deal ( That’s a good look)
Anything you cop I split the bill ( That’s a good look, better yet a hood look, ladies that’s a good look)
Hey, Believe me, i can upgrade u

Pressure I feel

comes from the attempt to deal

with the disappointments that life

throws at me

Pressure I feel

is from the desire to make real

the dreams that I have

for me

Pressure pushes, pulls and pins

makes me uncomfortable sometimes

even in my own skin

Pressure is a motivator

wakening me like a splash of cold water

A slap in the face

Pressure makes me less sure of my abilities

at first

Then pressure turns what’s a blur to something sure

I reach a pinnacle of prowess through pressure’s path

Pressure I feel

is allowed to become real

then fades away

when I let it

Chain smokin’

Cause I’ve stopped the tokin’

Got some thangs on my mind

Tryin to relax, tryin to unwind

Just a girl trying to make ends meet

Seems like I’m always catchin someone’s heat

Ain’t enough just to have a good heart

Gotta think fast, gotta be real smart

Or I’ll get wiped out of this wave

Heads up, need to make a save

Just a girl tryin make ends meet

Always catchin’ someone elses heat

Here is what’s up in my world

My world, my life, my times

trying to multiply dimes

just to be able to buy wind chimes

to make where I go home

a little more my place, my zone

I don’t struggle like others may

but I have issues come up

that seriously wreck my day

like the anger that uncoils from within

and strikes like a serpent with sin

or when I work really hard to make a dollar

and the dollars is spent before I even get it

Yeah, like for anyone, that makes me wanna hollar

Its a struggle to keep the peace

keep the love

What about a pay increase?

‘Why can’t I just be lucky and win the lotto’

but I can’t really adopt that as my motto

I have to take charge of my daily living

Impact my own life

Do my own digging

It’s not easy to stay up and motivated

That’s why the daily grind’s not overrated

I mean, I try to be positive and enthusiastic

I’m even known to be ecclesiastic

Still, struggle is struggle

And I’m just a muggle

Everything is relative, Einstein said

Personal experience is as valid as the next

So don’t judge me if I want to take a sedative

I used to smoke weed

To simmer self down

But my boyfriend now isn’t down

I just deal with my rollercoaster of emotions

Tidal waves and sometimes tsunamis

for which there are no easy fixes or solutions

I wish I could smoke to ease the anxiety

of a day in the life of a chic who thinks too much

just sometimes …for a little variety

But that is just escaping reality

And what’s real is the truth

Because what’s real equals true equals revealed

What’s revealed to me is revelation

Do I not like what I see?

If not, then I should change it.

Change. Evolution. Elevation.

Now that’s high

without inhaling

can I mantain that high on a daily basis

Maybe …

If i can accept myself with all my faces

Forgive myself in for all my evil phases

Here’s to all my fellow basket cases

Cheers

and Down with all of life’s fears

Because in the end I will battle

This morning I stopped by a cafe for a DECAFfeinated coffee drink. (Just had to emphasize that because I am officially off the drug, and very proud of myself [big grin]). I saw the best thing ever in the world. [Audience scooting butts to the edge of their chairs, dying to know what!?]

The best thing in the world is: 

A father

With his two beautiful children,

Baby girl in arms

Little boy holding daddy’s free hand

All seems right in the world for those three

For me, the rush of everyday life suddenly slows down

Time becomes still

So that I may recognise a little piece of heaven

Dropped down from this morning sky

before my blinded eyes

I am charged with affection and favor

Maybe one day that could be the father of my children,

Me, a mother of sons and daughters,

Granted pieces of heaven

We, the best thing in the world ever.